I spent three days in the wild, in a treehouse with no running water and no one at my side. It was a test of sorts – how would I fare on my own and what thoughts would run through my mind? During the day, I hiked. At night, I read. The first book I read was “the five people you meet in heaven” – a book about a man who dies and goes to heaven, only to be greeted by five people who are tasked with explaining his life to him. Little does he know that these five people have one thing in common: they all affected his life and altered it at some point, regardless of whether he was aware of it or not.
The first person he encounters in heaven is someone who died so that he could live. The lesson he learns from this encounter is “that there are no random acts. That we are all connected.” My thoughts instantly went to my twin that never was. Had she been doomed so that I may be spared? I’ve always wondered if the day I die I will finally have her before me – that soul to whom I’ve been connected my whole life but never knew. Will I finally get to see her, hear her, hug her, understand her? Will she understand me?! Has she been watching me from heaven and what does she think of me? Have I disappointed her or made her proud? From that moment, I became determined to live every single day from now on to the fullest. I feel I owe her that much!
The second person he encounters is the army captain under which he served. The lesson he learns from the captain is that “sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to.” I thought about all the sacrifices I’ve made in my life and what they have meant to me. I sacrificed my dreams of going away to college so that I could stay and watch over my younger sisters because I knew they needed me. I sacrificed my freedom and happiness by staying in a bad marriage because I knew my children needed me to. It was also the only way I would be able to finish law school and provide for them on my own. I have continued to sacrifice my own freedom to make sure that they can finish college and make something of themselves. Sacrifice is a part of life, but it seems in my life sacrifice has played more than just a part – it has been the leading lady to my life’s play!
The third person he encounters when he goes to heaven is someone he never actually met in real life but who was responsible for the existence of something that was key in his life. I wonder how many people have had a hand in my life even though I never even met them directly. People who turned down opportunities that came to me instead, or who took opportunities that could have gone to me. People who ended up falling in love with someone I could have loved, making it impossible for us to be together, or who didn’t love the people that I ended up with. Now my thoughts drifted to Gigi, the girl who my boyfriend of only two months was texting the entire time he was on vacation with me. Was I the one standing in the way of their true love? Or was her presence in his life the very thing that spared me a greater heartache down the road? It’s like what the movie “Sliding Doors” posits: even if the choices and events are different, are our lives destined to end up at the same place only under different circumstances? This is a mystery for another day, although for now I’m satisfied with the knowledge that as long as Gigi remains a part of my present, I cannot have a future, so it may be time to let go.
The fourth person he encounters is the love of his life, who he lost too early in life and never got over. So basically this author wrote this book for me! Oh the tears I cried as I read the words she says to him when the time comes for him to make sense of that tragic loss in this life: “Lost love is still love.” As the tears streamed down my face, I thought about all the times I’ve longed to hear Tito’s voice call me Nena. All the times I’ve pictured his smile and what he must be thinking if he’s watching me from above. All the times I felt the loss as deeply as I did the first time I heard he was gone, and how I swore there was no way I would ever love anyone as much as I’d loved him. Just imagining that I’ll see him in heaven one day and that I’ll finally be able to look into his eyes and tell him just what he meant to me….well, that’s the greatest gift I could receive in heaven.
I won’t talk about the fifth person he encounters in heaven because that would spoil the whole story. I will say that it’s good!!! All in all, it was a beautiful book that enabled me to really take stock in what I’m choosing to do with my life these days. How I spend my time matters and, more importantly, who I choose to spend time with matters. Reading this book also confirmed what I suspected would come out of this weekend: I need to spend more time with myself, free from distractions and the influence of others. I need to connect with my own soul and with the holy spirit within, and continue to forge the path to my own happiness.
Still, I can’t help but wonder what my life lessons will be when I finally get to heaven, and whose lives will I have forever altered? Who will be there to greet me and explain the meaning of my life to me? Regardless of what I learn and who I learn it from, I’m sure of one thing: it will be amazing! 🙂
Meeting Myself 